As people, we naturally feel empowered when we stand up for ourselves, win our battles, set and meet our goals, and overcome negative expectations of others and ourselves. This means that if we want to feel empowered everyday, we have to set reasonable standards for ourselves, and then work to meet them. This can be hard for some people, but the key is to start by telling ourselves something good.
In reality, those people who constantly talk bad about themselves, put themselves down, or resist compliments, are no less vain and selfish than people who don’t think they can ever do anything wrong. Self-deprecation and conceit are two sides of the same, self-centered coin. Both are equally annoying, unrealistic, and come from pure vanity.
So, if you are someone who pretends that you don’t believe there is anything good about yourself, it is time to shape up. Every one has something awesome to offer the world, and most of us know what our strengths are better than we care to admit. Most often we down-play them because we have such big, fragile egos that we are afraid of getting them shattered should we fail or find out we aren’t everything we think we are. This is a catch-22 and it keeps us stuck and miserable.
The truth about you and me and everyone else is that we really aren’t all that unique. Just like everyone, we have faults and setbacks, things that might be considered annoying, or things that make us look foolish. The question isn’t whether you have those problems, it is whether you are going to let your fear of looking foolish keep you from ever stepping out there and putting it on the line. Fear is what strips us of our power, even though it is power we are most afraid of losing when we choose to hang back and hide ourselves from the world.
Amazingly enough, self-empowerment is ultimately a product of letting go of ourselves. When we stop being afraid of losing, we really win. We accept ourselves as the mixed bags we are and choose to follow our strengths and talents, instead of focusing on all the things that make us feel justified in not trying. This means we stop letting our failures dominate our thoughts because our giant egos can’t handle not being perfect. The moment we do this, we are self-empowered.
The next step is to take control. Not to take control of other people and what they think and how they feel, but to take control of ourselves. This is the only thing that anyone can ever, really rule over, and it is all anyone really needs to have power over. Self-empowerment is both, feeling empowered, and using that power to control yourself. This means keeping your thoughts positive, focused and motivating.
In order to be depressed, it is necessary to think in a depressing way. In order to happy and energetic, it is necessary to have happy, energetic thoughts. Thoughts and emotions feed off of each other, so, if we want to control how we feel, we need to take ahold of what we think. We need to think like empowered, healthy, positive people. We need to tell ourselves that we get to choose how we feel at all times. No one can do that for us or to us. Then, we need to speak up.
The third step to empowerment is speaking up. Using your voice. Don’t bother saying inside your mind, “whatever. I never get what I want.” That is nonsense. The only time you get what you want is when you let it be known what you want. The only time you don’t get what you want is when you don’t really know. So, if you are following along, saying, “whatever”, there is no need to feel sorry for yourself. Instead, take a deep look inside yourself and admit you don’t know what you want and that you need to do some searching and find out.
The thing about self-empowerment is that, if we really want confidence and power, we have to let go, first. We have to let go of our egos, our fears and our little dramas. This means admitting the truth to ourselves, instead of letting our brains run the show. Taking a hard look at who we really are, what we really want, and how we truly feel is scary and difficult, but it is the only path to becoming fully in control of our own lives. We are the most powerful when we know and accept ourselves. Unless we are strong in our sense of who we are, and not hiding from our own demons, we will always be vulnerable to those who try to knock us down.
Learn more about the techniques for positive thinking